It is very important for a person to be healthy and happy in order to be their most productive self. Be it at home or at work, support from a fulfilling relationship works wonder to attain it. However, in a time when relationships are as fragile as delicate chinaware, we wonder if the investment in time and energy for something that may not “go the distance” is worth it!
Many of us do not realize that the single best way to to overcome this apprehension is by “taking the plunge”... with ONESELF!!
“Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for everything.”
It is said that how others treat us is a mere reflection of how we treat ourselves. By maintaining a healthy relationship with oneself, we have the means to build healthy relationship with others. Also, if we are not aware of ourselves, our emotional needs, we can never understand someone else’s emotional needs and eventually end up having no one who is emotionally available for us.
So how do we nurture this relationship?
“A healthy self-relationship is the ability to value yourself as a person, and embrace your strengths and weaknesses,” said , LCSW, a therapist and at Psych Central. Simply put, one needs to start considering him/her as a separate entity, just like our parents, spouse, colleagues or friends and do things for ourselves as we would, for them.
Often we contemplate such ideas but end up procrastinating for the lack of enough motivation or guidance. Well, I am listing a few ideas that hold true for relationship of any kind, and would certainly help you to foster a good relationship with yourself.
1. You are the other person in this relationship.
It may take time for this feeling to sink in but start being aware of yourself in a whole different light. As we would in a new relationship, you need to start noticing yourselves- your likes, dislikes, what makes you feel good or what puts you off. You will realize you have started valuing yourself as a person and there is more self awareness.
2. Care for your needs.
Once you get comfortable with this idea and want to work on your self-relationship, a great start would be by taking note of your basic needs. Pay attention to what your body demands- a good night’s sleep, a healthy nutrition dashed with some exercise!
3. Let there be merriment.
Key here is to prioritize. Everything under the sun cannot make you happy. Things that bring joy should be done more often. Give yourself a treat every now and then, just like you would in any other relationship.
4. Pay attention to your inner self.
A healthy relationship with yourself also requires you to be connected to your inner world, to be aware of the internal processes. Introspection now and then would do more good to you than you can imagine. Ask yourself periodically, “What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this? What do I want?”
5. Make time!
“You don’t have time for me/us!” Each one of you who’s reading this must have definitely heard/ said this at least once in your life. Well, like they say, “Charity begins at home.” Start making time for yourself, devoid of any interruption whatsoever. It might seem difficult at first to do it with your phone constantly beeping or something that needs ‘urgent’ attention then and there. I want you to ask you one question here. Does a cup of tea/coffee with nothing but your thoughts to yourself seem that impossible a task? I say, Do It!
You have seen how ‘Inner Peace’ helps a certain sloppy ‘Panda’ to master Kung Fu, an art which is almost alien to him. Why not us? I do not need to reiterate the benefits of meditation (It is proven and accepted worldwide) although I cannot stress enough on the fact that it is the best gift one can give to oneself. It makes one capable of climbing mountains both within and outside.
7. It’s gonna be forever.
Yes, you read it right. You never have to do something for yourself or make efforts thinking if it’s worth your time and energy. People may come and go; relationships may wither but the only person who would certainly be there with you through all your ups and down would be YOU.
Like I said, cultivating a healthy relationship with oneself is the groundwork for having a fulfilling and content life. Also, as you become more self aware, you start keeping realistic expectations in other relationships as well. So, make a start, Today... Now... because it’s the only relationship that you are guaranteed to have every single day of your life!